Friday, January 2, 2009
"WOW? BAK = Back at keyboard"
Woah it has been so long since i last had an entry, back to waaayyyyyy before going in. I does hopes mine Engrish sui2 zhun3 is ups to standards. Ah who am i kidding, man..spending so much time around dolts really does wonders for language ability. All those years of tuition gone to waste..
Aye aye, starting to feel tired again, somehow this feeling creeps over whenever i starton anything to do with brainwork..again another side effect of unwilling service -.-. Oh the agony..actually the 14 months ain't so bad, the problem is knowing that others have less than a year left.
There's a curious phenomenon that I just recently discovered. Somehow or rather, jokes that I used to find hilarious, even those directed at me have become rather annoying and irritating. Could this be a sign of maturity and growth? Or pettiness and touchiness? Seems to be the latter to me, but I cannot really be too sure.
Time to recap the past 8 months of gruelling activities. Actually when I think back about it, the physical portions were not that tough, in fact they were pretty fun. I was always blessed with a good section but bad bed buddies (to people who don't know what I'm talking about, this would sound really wrong >.>). But yeah, one was an ACSAS*HO*E and the other was just plain quiet. Advanced training was really fun actually, and from what I heard before I fell out, it was not as tough as rumored.
Come to think of it, my life in here is plagued with misfortune. In the sense that whereever I go, the top tier is always replaced with AS*HO*Es. So my life is always permanently tough. My sis says I should open up my mind more, which is true, but those 2 at the top really ARE bad bad people. Oh well, I'm stuck here make the best of it.
New Year's day was well..boring..the only good thing that came out of it was that I went WOW. I've only done that 3 times in my life. The funniest part of it all? It happened at a goreng pisang stall :D Went there again today but left the place disappointed awww....never mind I'll pop by again some other day..ooosh I'm not going to let myself down again!!!
My grandma just went to a better place about hours ago. I do wish her well, but I don't really have any emotional attachments (i.e I don't feel sad). I am not going to attend any of the rituals/ proceedings unless absolutely necessary. I do agree that I should be there for my pops but I really do not fancy going through all these for the deceased. If you wanted to treasure and respect them, you should have done so when they were alive. Back in my grandma's place, all my aunts and uncles were speaking to her..shouldn't they have done all these when she was still around? I mean..sheesh..what is the point fo speaking to everybody except the person you intend to convey the message to? Zhiming said it might be because the person might still be around..hmmm my cousin's dogs did act a little weird..
Ah..I suddenly have a change of heart. I suppose what my aunts and uncles were doing were simply saying their last words..more to reminiscise and close the chapter than to cling onto the past. I really admired my dad tonight, even though he loved my grandma dearly and was the most fillal son there could ever be, he shed nought a tear tonight. Even through the immense sadness his figure was still one of strength and dignity, unwavering.
It's getting harder and harder to stave off the loneliness it seems, yeah well..everyone will say there's someone for everyone..still..hurts to wait..>.< Punyo punyo punyo~~~
