Emokia89

Whee..a new book!

2009-01-18T09:51:00.002+08:00

Aha, bought a new book yesterday! It's been ages since I've bought a new book..the last time I bought one was an assessment book for the 'A' levels. This one is titled "How to talk to ANYBODY". Granted, a book the thickness of your average paperback is not going to provide much of a significant guide to the complex spoken and unspoken communications between two conversing homosapiens. That can only be acquired through experience. However the book did serve as a useful reminder to some of the basic elements of conversation. Which I'm not going to reveal here because it cost me $23.60!!!!! Muhahaha!!! Hopefully it works, I'll try it soon enough..

I tried this cool ionic footspa thingy thing thing yesterday as well. What I was told it does is that it supercharges the water with ions. In turn, these ions draw out various toxins from your body. Mine was pretty clear, which I think meant that mine was pretty healthy. My dad and mum's foot tub went kind of murky dark orange.. Eeeww..they had been working later for the past week which kind of wreaked havoc on their interal organs. Heya I guess this thingy thing thing works!!!

It seems as though Pamela has found herself a boyfriend..and Yen Shan's going to chide me if he sees this statement because I think it happened quite long ago..What can I say..I don't follow trends..They make quite a cute couple actually. Hopefully he knows how to cook for her..she eats tons of junk crap >.> and yet somehow never gains weight..envious..

Not much else has happened so far except being trapped in a ratcage for 2 weeks straight..Yawwnn..almost..ALMOST..1 year more to freedom..

WOW? BAK = Back at keyboard

2009-01-02T22:22:00.002+08:00

Woah it has been so long since i last had an entry, back to waaayyyyyy before going in. I does hopes mine Engrish sui2 zhun3 is ups to standards. Ah who am i kidding, man..spending so much time around dolts really does wonders for language ability. All those years of tuition gone to waste..

Aye aye, starting to feel tired again, somehow this feeling creeps over whenever i starton anything to do with brainwork..again another side effect of unwilling service -.-. Oh the agony..actually the 14 months ain't so bad, the problem is knowing that others have less than a year left.

There's a curious phenomenon that I just recently discovered. Somehow or rather, jokes that I used to find hilarious, even those directed at me have become rather annoying and irritating. Could this be a sign of maturity and growth? Or pettiness and touchiness? Seems to be the latter to me, but I cannot really be too sure.

Time to recap the past 8 months of gruelling activities. Actually when I think back about it, the physical portions were not that tough, in fact they were pretty fun. I was always blessed with a good section but bad bed buddies (to people who don't know what I'm talking about, this would sound really wrong >.>). But yeah, one was an ACSAS*HO*E and the other was just plain quiet. Advanced training was really fun actually, and from what I heard before I fell out, it was not as tough as rumored.
Come to think of it, my life in here is plagued with misfortune. In the sense that whereever I go, the top tier is always replaced with AS*HO*Es. So my life is always permanently tough. My sis says I should open up my mind more, which is true, but those 2 at the top really ARE bad bad people. Oh well, I'm stuck here make the best of it.

New Year's day was well..boring..the only good thing that came out of it was that I went WOW. I've only done that 3 times in my life. The funniest part of it all? It happened at a goreng pisang stall :D Went there again today but left the place disappointed awww....never mind I'll pop by again some other day..ooosh I'm not going to let myself down again!!!

My grandma just went to a better place about hours ago. I do wish her well, but I don't really have any emotional attachments (i.e I don't feel sad). I am not going to attend any of the rituals/ proceedings unless absolutely necessary. I do agree that I should be there for my pops but I really do not fancy going through all these for the deceased. If you wanted to treasure and respect them, you should have done so when they were alive. Back in my grandma's place, all my aunts and uncles were speaking to her..shouldn't they have done all these when she was still around? I mean..sheesh..what is the point fo speaking to everybody except the person you intend to convey the message to? Zhiming said it might be because the person might still be around..hmmm my cousin's dogs did act a little weird..

Ah..I suddenly have a change of heart. I suppose what my aunts and uncles were doing were simply saying their last words..more to reminiscise and close the chapter than to cling onto the past. I really admired my dad tonight, even though he loved my grandma dearly and was the most fillal son there could ever be, he shed nought a tear tonight. Even through the immense sadness his figure was still one of strength and dignity, unwavering.

It's getting harder and harder to stave off the loneliness it seems, yeah well..everyone will say there's someone for everyone..still..hurts to wait..>.< Punyo punyo punyo~~~

And my Deathnote personality quiz..Raito Yagami

2008-04-02T18:36:00.003+08:00

Haha turns out i'm 80% like Raito Yagami. Hmmm true enough, in my eyes this world is corrupt and overpopulated, it could do without a few people, or maybe lots of people :D However criminals would not be the only targets in my Note, corporate bullies as well and people whose faces generally annoy Mmmmmmmmmmmme.
Haiz this world is turning into shit I just saw my neighbour, a zha bor around Sec 1 or 2 enter the lift with a Nu2 Tu3, or was it Da1 Bian4? I think it's the latter one, ya fits the description more aptly. I saw that guys face, granted he was good looking but I also saw the "I have so gotten into this girl's pants" smirk he gave when was not facing her. Tsk I so wanted to grab his b**** and wedgie him with them. In case you are wondering or lost, here is an equation:
Horny playful Da1 Bian4 + zha bor X (Both of them are around Sec 2) + Entering the lift to go the lassy's house = Baby. SINGAPORE IS ALREADY OVERFLOWING AT THE SEAMS WITHOUT THE LIKES OF YOU SCUM MAKING IT WORSE. On the other hand, to be fair to the guy, the girl is also stupid (and slutty) enough to invite chaos into her life. Still..I relish in the fact that mental (and hopefully physical) anguish soon follows such callous behaviour. And as usual, the guy will get away scott-free, the girl will cry and hate all men, she will incite hatred of all men among her girlfriends, they will all become lesbians and the remaining guys suffer from a lack of female partners and turn gay. Tadaa! Perfect Doomsday scenario :) I mean, why do girls/ women/ females choose guys that they obviously know will hurt them in the future? Granted some guys are totally good at concealing their inner demons but most are just totally blatant, one look and you can tell he is a f***er, literally and figuratively.
It totally irks me so seeing gangs of Nu2 Tu3 and Da1 Bian4 roaming the streets acting all cool and stuff. On one hand I can't touch them as a law-abiding citizen, on the other hand know that in the future, when they fill the job vacancies in cleaning companies and MacDonalds, they will greedily consume taxpayers' (us) dollars to buy toilet paper and other daily necessities they cannot afford.
For those who are wondering, yes this is elitism, but it is also a desire for justice. Why should we pay for the sins of those you squandered their youth? Who revelled and rotted away in youth without restraint and discipline? These burdens to society should just disappear..
And for the others who are quick to jump to conclusions, this train of thought does belong to me, but the terminology like "zha bor" are words which i find derogatory and would normally prefer not to use. They are simply there as references for my friends who use such terms within the same contexts.

To emo or not to emo? +Report on DOTA

2008-03-17T23:08:00.004+08:00

Haha i'm fairly past the emo stage, it's not really emoing now but more like deep thought. After a while strong emotions fade with time..Oh well they will probably return soon enough, it has happened often enough to become cyclical..although it is nice being clear headed while it lasts.

Emo does have a nice side effect that leaves you hooked, the bitterness becomes somewhat like a motivational factor, albeit a shortlived one. It is like..becoming supercharged with rage..I have noticed that physical fitness improves by about 1.1~1.3 times during such periods. Seriously, I can run further, faster and do more pull ups :p

Just finished a game of DOTA, i did not really want to play, yong sheng persuaded me into joining. After just 2 weeks without constant practice my 'skills' have deteriorated, which i think is a good sign! Shows that I haven't been playing this cruddy game. If any one had a marketing strategy as good as how DOTA keeps its players hooked, they would be the richest man in the world. Seriously.

I mean, the more you win the more you want to play to enjoy the feeling of victory and continue the winning streak. The more you play to win the higher your chances of losing (simple statistics :D), unless of course you manage to improve every time you play, which under pub conditions is totally impossible. The more you lose the more you want to play to win the next game, and when you DO finally win the next game, we are back to square one. Tadaa, level 25 Dota Addict.

The most retarded thing is the in-game dialogue. Haha the game i just finished was a classic example. Allow me to describe what a classic DOTA conversation would be like :D
"eh you ch** bye noob sh** don't maphack (cheat) lar"
"knn you motherf***er, i see you maphack then i turn mine on la you ch**bye, so noob still say others"
"you noob sh**, noob den say lar, your mother ch**bye never teach you arh? "

Haha as you can see, DOTA players do not exactly have excellent grammar. I can safely say I rarely degrade myself to such meaningless and idiotic exchange of profanities. It might surprise you to know that despite DOTA being merely a game, there are actually real emotions and pride, with just a touch( overdose) of chauvinism behind these. People actually get ANGRY over DOTA, such immaturity tsk tsk.

Thus concludes my report on DOTA.

I wish to blog more about my EMOtions but will do it tomorrow after a good night's rest.

I'm bacck

2008-03-02T20:01:00.002+08:00

Wragh, bloody 2 week stint in fucking company wasted so much of my time. What a bunch of liars, actually not really a bunch, more like just the noobie monkey in charge of the whole project. Seriously, he looks like a monkey but is more twisted than my sense of humour. I mean he's not even cunning or sly or decieving la, he tries to smoke his way through so blatantly, like he thinks we are primary school..no..kindergarten kids eating out of his hands. Tsk, if you want to lie at least do it with finesse and grace, not like some noob who can't wipe his arse b'cos it's where his mouth is and there's too much crap flowing out of it. Ah well.. I believe in Karma (sutra)..what comes around goes around!
Ah well, I got my foldable bike! Wheee I love it muackz! It sometimes looks kinda nooby but the fact that it can be brought onto public transport more than makes up for it :p So i no longer have to buy a skateskooter because I like lego!
Eeyer I've been spending too much recently, gotta cut down! Guilty conscience..and no pay T.T I'm feeling pooorrrrr. *Enviously looks at Sherman's PS3 >.<..Haiz a bike is still more worth it!!!!
Wragh..Junyu said i'm fat..>.> Not my fault, my sportshoes were stolen..fat..broke..fat..broke..*falling into a blackhole of emotion*..fat..broke..fat..

Whee I'm a DRIVER

2008-02-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

Haha okok not exactly, just got my provisional license two days ago. Even bought a traffic TYS for to prepare for the theory test! Hopefully can spam lessons from now on..Hmmm..
And yesterday, I went out with loh yong sheng, Hong yi and songjun! Haha damn funny! Wai Lumn told us to wear semi formal to the briefing and songjun ended up wearing corporate attire, haha and he is our group leader! Lol this job gets more and more amusing.
Went shopping after the briefing! Loh, Hy and I bought singlets and actually WORE them in marina square! Zomg so pai seh ah..stupid bastard :p challenged us to parade around in singlets or else he would brand us losers. Can't believe I fell for such a retarded challenge. Still, it was both exciting and intriguing at the same time! I must go train some more! :(
Then we went to Billy Bombers and had BnJ ice cream on waffles, was yummy, but soooo overpriced zzzzzz.

Putrid purpose

2008-01-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

It is so fucking sickening, every time someone looks for me, it's always because they want something FROM me. Demands demands demands, nobody looks for me, only for something i HAVE. Well F@#$ YOU ALL I SAY! WANT SOMETHING? GO GET ANOTHER SUPPLIER. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF "EH I WANT THOSE BOOKLETS", "EH I WANT (fill in blank)". What am I? Popular bookstore? ../.. What happened to, "eh wassup? whatchya doing now?", "how've you been lately?" CB F'ERS...trust you all to go straight to the point. "I want this, I want that."
and when i DON'T DO it, whine, complain, abuse the fact that i give in easily. Abuse the fact that I consciously am trying to be nice. Well very soon I want to drive my fist through something. Until then..

Today tio pangsehed by the NS people and Bobby >.> So I heard to shop alone..which wasn't really enjoyable because it was crowded and my blue card was almost empty. It was alright at first, then as the crowd starting building up, I got angry. Angry with the fact that I was alone. Nonono I wasn't angry at anyone, seriously no, we all have our own stuff to do anyways. But I was angry at the fact that I wound up like that. And it wasn't the first time it happened. What's wrong I wonder? I see people, ugly people, short people, fat people, thin people, poorly dressed people. And they all have other people with them. So why am I wandering Raffles Place alone? In fact, I got so sick of it I went to buy booze and stare into blank space in Raffles Hotel. Long Island Tea's nice when you drink it in small quantities...Why why why? What is this missing piece of the puzzle that has plagued me for so many years?
I wanted all the people in city hall to just disappear. the more I thought about it, the more and more ugly those people became. I wanted all the ugly people out there to disappear, to leave the whole place empty. Go somewhere else like in a box or something..

Demons in my mind

2008-01-24T21:10:00.000+08:00

Shit I just realised what an absolute asshole I am. I was about to flame my friend on my blog!!! All because of what? My paranoia and insecurity. My anger and the bitter taste of injustice in my mouth. My lack of understanding how different people are. I cannot expect others to conform to my definition of "friend". Because she didn't do what I was expecting her to do I nearly condemned her. Good thing I recollected all the happy memories and realised that she expressed her idea of friendship through different means. How daft I was...still i don't know why I get the kind of class-B/class-C friend vibes from her. I really don't think she thinks of me in that way, but I can't shake off this nagging feeling. I wish she'd approach me for reasons other than just to pass me stuff, take the initiative look for me on msn to chitty chatty...I'm always the one looking for you :(
The amusing thing though, was that because I completely and utterly convinced myself how much I disliked her at that point of time because I THOUGHT she never reciprocated my sincerity (actually she did!!!) ( I was about to send her a card I put lots of effort into, then I began wondering whether she was really worth it), that anger was converted into physical strength. During my physical training, my performance was boosted by quite a substantial amount, I even sprinted to Bishan Park because I was still so full of raging energy after my workout. It was daft upon hindsight, but that feeling of empowerment..noteworthy..

I hearby proclaim Ding to be the greatest naive asshole on the planet for today :( Stupidity

I don't know why I've been having such evil thoughts lately...I was super pissed with my family a few days ago, even though the problem was actually fairly insignificant..

A Message by George Carlin:

2008-01-24T08:50:00.000+08:00

This is basically an email message sent to my mum which i just read this morning. Thought it was pretty meaningful so I've decided to post it instead of send it. Especially corny because I was playing (or trying to play >.<) Jason Mraz's "Life is Wonderful" on guitar, so the two whimsical themes kind of fitted together. Just once, I wish to know how it feels like to have someone miss you and pine for you..Hmmm..
Foreword: Ironically, the place full of shining exemplary leaders is all the place with the most evil abound, right Yen Shan?
i wonder what it feels like to have someone miss you, pine for you. Hmmm..

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but

shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,

but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and

smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but

less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more

problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,

drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too

little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too

much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to

life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but

have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer

space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,

but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but

accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more

computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever,

 but we, communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small

character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of

two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are

days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night

stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to

quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and

nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to

you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight,

or to justhit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not

 going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,

 because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is

 the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but

 most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend any hurt when it comes

 from

deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person

 will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the

 precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the

 moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

                       George Carlin


Do the ROBOT!!!!















Matrix!!! Whoosh!!!

New skin!!! and finally an update..

2008-01-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Haha i feel so bad that I have neglected by blog for so long. For some reason all the stuff that i wish to pen down in my blog always appears in my head. But i never manage to get around to recording it. Why is that? Even though stuff like doing chores, productive stuff take radically lesser time to complete compared to, playing Dota for instance we usually choose the latter, even if it isn't really "fun" to play. Hmmm...

Anyhows, I shall start with yesterday, since it was more..significant than today.
Thinking about yesterday already makes me want to spiral into depressions T.T I went out alone..you know what that means??? I have no friends!!! >.> LOL, it's okay, at least i'm not daphne! I have MSN. Back to the topic..it was kind of pathetic lol, daphne had lunch with her mum, hong yi was erh..probably busy going out with someone :D, yushu was in army even though I thought he would be enlisting in April. Haiz..I want to curl up into a ball on the cold hard floor right now...nevermind, I shall finish this before I do that for an hour or so...

So I headed out alone, the first time i went out alone in a long time,since all this time i went out for class outings..Lol, but I rediscovered, or rather re-noticed a particular ability I had, (which would probably explain why I'm still single as well :p) people were afraid of me, or at least, how I looked..on the bus ride to J8, the Bishan Park secondary students did not dare to sit next to me (all the other seats were filled and the bus was overflowing with students). I mean, I wasn't trying to act fierce or anything, I was just in a neutral mood..still it was very amusing watching the 2 BPS girls nudge each other, trying to get each other to sit down next to me, but neither of them actually doing so. MUAHAHAHA

Okay so then I had a delicious subway sandwich, the steak one with extra cheese. SUGOIIIII...I LOVE SUBWAY. (Ate from another fast food chain today and nearly PUKED). After that I ran some errands. AFTER THAT SOME THING TOTALLY INCREDIBLY NASTY HAPPENED TO ME. No it wasn't the bubble tea which splashed onto me after some MEOW HIGH RETARD dropped his cup immediately after paying for it. I SAW....I SAW...BOBBY'S FRIEND!!! At first I couldn't recognise it, but after looking at its legs...I KNEW. Thank goodness it didn't see me, oh man I ran and dodged all the way out of there while wishing, almost praying she wouldn't see me. I have never wished that hard for something.

Phew, after that I realised I was laughing, and yet I felt like crying. Not the sad type of crying, but the kind of feeling of incredulity and insanity, like you are at a loss of what to do, or even how to react. It was a nice feeling of insanity though, like that sicko bad guy from Den-o.

After finishing my errands and somewhat calming down, I took the bus home!!! Haha except it was no ordinary bus ride, now came the good part of yesterday, it was worth it in exchange for the horrible part lol. I know what I'm going say next doesn't exactly fit in with the theme of my blog skin but I want to record it down before I convince myself that I am destined to lead a lonely existence.
There she was, sitting just opposite me on the bus across the aisle. It's like that seat opposite her was left for me :D. NOT BOBBY'S FRIEND. >.>. But the most chio chiobuuuuuuuu..aye I shall not use that crude term on her. She's too good for it. The kawaiiiiii-san. She was wearing some floaty yellow blouse/ dress thingy that came all the way down to her knees, and snug-fitting erh..tights? trousers? I dunno..my fashion not that good..But her face...omg was she cute, large eyes, cute nose and lips, great skin, silky hair and fantastic hairstyle, the Erika Toda kind. Now you put a head like that on a petite frame that somehow doesn't have the underdeveloped feeling of most Sg girls. And voila! Perfect combo, out of this world! Strike! But wait wait wait, that isn't the best part. The best part is, she's got brains to go with the beauty. She was carrying like 3 super thick books on financial management! = not bimbo! Yay!!!

Ahhhh...sigh...so shuang that the rest of the guys probably won't get to read this. Can gush on without worries. Daphne!! *Evil eye. I trust you won't talk or reveal about this post to any of the guys or girls? Not even Chris horrrh...

Oh man..it gets even better, I wasn't ogling at her, (I only stole a quick glance >.>) but yet there was this very serene aura about her. Some gentleness, demureness, classiness and self-control that is oh so lacking in Singaporean gals. It gives you the impression she was just enjoying the scenery outside, or thinking hard about something significant, not crap like which nail polish would go best with mascara or which handbag to buy. Either that, or she's already attached and doesn't give a hoot about everything else in the world -.-. Hai..that small body carrying all those big books..kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii >.< She alighted at the stop just before Long House, but didn't head towards the HDB flats there...Hmmmm.

Okay I shall stop here and erase her from my mind as of this moment. Because..well..I'm not one of those chee hong bastards who'd go after a girl purely because of looks..and I probably look more like her big brother or young uncle ..sad but true..although people who study financial management should be in university right? Don't think they offer courses like those in poly.. Anyway I'm glad I saw her, even if it was just once, although I think i saw her somewhere else before. But that's the end of it.
Ok bye.

You must pardon me if my descriptions are rather explicit. I randomly borrowed this book called Belinda and it is pure porn crap about this 40 year old artist having a 16 year old lover. The porn descriptions are shitty, the English is awful. I can only congratulate the author for having such an imaginative mind such as to come up with this kind of pedophilic novel. Unfortunately, the explicitness has already rubbed off on me and will take some time to disappear, so please bear with this post.

That same night, I had some sudden inspiration and whipped out my lego set!! Wheee lego is awesome! Not the crap they sell nowadays but the old sets, sets i use to play when i was younger. Those creators just don't get what Lego is about. Lego's not just about putting stuff together, the main attraction of Lego is how you can use it to build OTHER stuff other than what it was originally meant for. You can't do that if you custom mold large pieces just to suit that set you retards. Build stuff using smaller generic materials!!! I wouldn't mind paying more if I could use those generic pieces to build other stuff at my whim and fancy.

Anyway I built this tank thingy, I wasn't really sure of what I was trying to build, but the outcome wasn't too bad. It resembles the tumbler from batman begins I guess, so that's what I'll call it. The mecha I built quite some time ago, think I had the basic desgin out in Secondary 3 or 4. The joints are all really flexible, if you've played lego before and if you look really closely, you'll realise the axis of the joints resemble those of the human body except for the thighs, which can't rotate like ours do. It used to have a head, but I thought a cockpit was much cooler. Say Hi to the little guy in the car!!

Of china, of philosophy and of chiobu

2007-12-24T11:57:00.000+08:00

Wheeee just came back, actually not really just (last tuesday) from China! The trip was waaaayyyy better than I expected. The last Hainan trip was a friggin disaster area, the buildings were half-built, in fact I think there was more half-built stuff than buildings that were actually completed! and everyone there stank like poop (literally!), looked like poop (Super duper tanned and black, unfortunately not tall and handsome like junyu :p) and basically spoke like they had too much slushy poop coming out from their ears and mouths. Too loud and noisy. Who the hell shouts into a phone placed right next to their face in the middle of a quiet restaurant -.-
Back to the nice stuff! Brief overview of the free-n-easy itinerary..
The trip started on the 13th Dec 2007! (For records)

Day 1: Touched down in KunMing, ate Guo4 Qiao2 Mi3 Xian4 for the first time! Tasted okay la..like some random chicken noodle soup. The only thing special about it is it's like a mini-steamboat. They serve you a bowl of STEAMing soup with a layer of oil on top to keep the heat in. Then you toss in all the other raw ingredients starting with the quail egg..I wonder why..
Flew off to Lijiang feeling like shit cos I had another bout of flu..zzz...Saw some awesome scenery on the way to the hotel. All the buildings are built in the old Chinese style, the kind you see in the WuXia kungfu shows, and the province is surrounded by mountains!!! damn cool! though only one had snow on it.
We stayed in an awesome hotel! The rooms were a bit small..but it was one of those old houses! Cobblestone pavements, wooden pillars and bannisters, and the typcial Chinese roof carvings. Felt like I could leap from roof to roof! Oh btw the town is called the ancient city, or gu3 cheng2.
That same night we went to watch some old people play some even older instruments (about 400 years old) Boooriinnnggggg. But on the way back to the hotel we passed by some clubs :p Yes clubs...they were blasting remixed versions of the traditional folk songs

Strength and Honor

2007-12-01T16:19:00.000+08:00

Yay A's is finally over, listening to emo Ai Otsuka music now, she's sooo awesome :D I mean her singing. The end to 12 years of studying didn't seem to incite as much revelation as i thought it would, although it still felt pretty great. Oh wait..no it didn't..it seemed like any other ordinary day. Still, now i can get down to the REAL studying, improving and getting stronger. Right..after i dota all the way to Prom :D. I'm not going to think about A's anymore, it's over anyway, hopefully i can gain lots of corporate experience before April! Wheee...
The Bintan class trip was quite fun! Thanks for everything Gui Rong, oh I mean COUSIN-IN-LAW! Body boarding in stormy lightning water spout conditions is danm fun! and I'm sick of buffets..totally sucks..bleagh..I was totally obliged to eat until i almost puked to make the most of my $24, yucks..buffets are terrible evil things, designed to profit of human greed and make you terribly sick after that. The trip was quite relaxing actually..I don't know why but time seems to slow down by two to three times on Bintan..it's so slow it's actually stressful. -.- Stupid resort gave us a crappy villa..with spoilt locks and inconsistent electricity. >.> But i mastered the skill of starting barbecue fires! YAY! Heh heh actually that was my first time starting a fire on my own, instead of just assisting others. But no one realised..heh heh :p Play risky ( mao4 xian3).
Lol pool was f'ed up. Chee Aun jumped the white ball over two of his balls and into the pocket. Lol, the two balls were less than 1 foot away from the pocket.
Sigh..the trip was fun..lol i kept getting made fun of..i'm never wearing osaki slippers and waistpouches ever again..never again.. ../..
Anyway I have my prom wear!!!!! Haha i'm going to stick out like a sore thumb, but it costs me only 200 in total! and i can wear it for other occasions! Because it doesn't look like funeral clothing! Hopefully it doesn't turn out to be a fashion disaster..I place my hopes in my sis's fashion sense *cross fingers. SHOPPING IS HORRIBLE. I shopped non-stop for the previous 3 days to no avail. Good thing i dragged my sis down today..heng..ok dota time!

What is Emo?

2007-10-31T14:02:00.000+08:00

Enjoy! I'm like..falling into a blackhole of emotion...*sniff

It shouldn't be this way..

2007-10-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder, why did it have to be this way? tshhhk..everyone thinks that now and then i suppose. But seriously..why? I mean this world is seriously fucked up, nothing is the way it should be..then again, is it because I'm some inapt weird asshole who refuses to swim downstream into the bottomless pit of doom that is humanity? Or because they are all conformist assholes clumping together in a tight piece of shit that remains stuck up some giant ***hole? Then again, if the world went the way I wanted it to, some other unfortunate chap would be typing the exact same words I'm typing now. I know! I'm caught in a paradox, some kind of freakish nightmare where black is white, and white is black and grey is stained blood red! Maybe if i just point this imaginary gun at my heart..heh..just kidding, that would be a lousy way to die anyway. :p
Hmmm, I'm munching on ikan billis now (it's really salty >.<) and this last piece happens to be staring back at me..I wonder what it was thinking in the few hours or weeks that it lived, did it even think at all? The soul of an ikan billis..hmmm...oh well it is gone now. I just ate it, yum :D
7 more days to physics paper 3, I know, I should be studying, sigh but I feel like drawing more E.mo, how?
My head and heart are throbbing and I have this sudden impulse (change in momentum= Force x Time) to burn myself alive, actually not really burning. Fire only works on the surface. More like spontaneous combustion, every cell in my body simultaneously bursts into flame. Hmmm.. intriguing..

E.Mo

2007-10-05T20:20:00.000+08:00

Haha, been feeling kind of stressed lately, but I don't know why, i kind of like the pain. Its not just the stress kind, but includes agony and sorrow as well. It makes me feel..alive. I know its kind of sadistic, but I willingly make an effort to maintain that pain, it gives me a purpose, helps me to focus. Otherwise I'd just feel like I'm floating around in wonderland.
Sigh..it is beginning to fade though, so its getting harder to preserve it. Damn. and everyday brings me closer to 'A's. Zzzz...Ah well, I created something to help me relieve the pain whenever it starts to build up excessively! Haha I think I shall call him E.Mo..like duh =.= He is kind of like a reflection of what I am feeling , a materialization but yet, looking at him makes me feel much better. Could it be because I managed to get the feeling out of my system? Or because he seems so much more pitiful?
Anyway, here he is. I'm thinking of creating comic strips out of him...trying to muster up enough will to draw the templates >.>

I wish to see the way behind the world...

2007-10-04T17:39:00.000+08:00

I have found my purpose, to see everything for what it truly is. As Hyoma puts it, it is to see the reason of life. But of course, Hyoma's an anime character so what he says may not necessarily apply to this dimension of reality. Still it is a worthy cause and it suits my character to a T, its just this stupid education system does not permit one to think beyond the recommended answers. Stupid fools, how can you claim we need great leaders if all you let us do is slog our lives away answering problems you already have the answers to? But to be fair, there has been an improvement over the past couple of years, though it still sucks to be guinea pigs.
This desire for enlightenment has become my motto for now, I hate 'A' levels, I hate exams, but in order to gain greater knowledge I have to surpass it. I can overcome my laziness because procrastination is nothing more than a mental state of mind. I will not succumb to my desires because they are temptations predefined by me to be enjoyable, change the definition and change the desire. It sounds stupid, but hey, whatever works. That is also a truth in itself.

~"To see past deceit, truth, love and pain"~

Ratatouille lyrics..:D

2007-09-12T15:09:00.001+08:00

*Waltzes back*
Bonjour! Sont ici les paroles.. Apprécie ! Remy dit salut (Hello! Here are the lyrics..Enjoy! Remy says hi!) *Waltzes away*

Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends
Carried through lifetimes, (and) spilled now and then
I am driven by hunger, so saddened to be
Thieving in darkness; I know you’re not pleased
But nothing worth eating is free

My hope is a banquet impatiently downed
Impossibly full, now I’ll probably drown
Many thieves’ lives are lonely with one mouth to feed
If giving means taking, I’ll never succeed
For nothing worth stealing is…

Free at last; won’t be undersold
Surviving isn’t living; won’t eat what I’m told
Let me free, I’ll astonish you; I’m planning to fly
I won’t let this party just pass me by

The banquet is now underway, so…
Bring out the bottles; a new tale has spun
In clearing this table, my new life’s begun
I am nervous, excited; (oh) just read the marquee!
A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me

A lifetime of hiding; I’m suddenly free!
My dinner is waiting for me

Sensuality

2007-09-12T14:51:00.000+08:00

Screw maths *grunts* Anyway I'm hooked onto the Ratatouille soundtrack! Damn sexy now i wanna learn French! This emo sexy high song makes me wanna waltz through the cobblestone streets of Paris on a warm Paris night! With a romantic huge full moon and the glowing Eiffel Tower in the background! But since I've got no one to dance with I'll waltz with a baguette! Lalalala..wheeeeee...Hmmm..think I'll go dig up a bottle of wine now..Bon Appetite!

Bang!!! Ha..ha...ha............

2007-09-08T21:02:00.001+08:00

(No plagarism intended, my respects to the cool dude who designed this pic. kudos)

Losing my humanity..I want to rip my chest open..

2007-09-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

I know its pretty selfish to whine and complain about how depressed I am, how life sucks, boohoo when there are so many people who are out there suffering from untold horrors that life has thrust upon them, poverty, disability, inability to realise how big an asshole they are. But still, I'm human and its only natural to indulge and wallow in self-pity and degradation even though I've food and clothing.

Just came back from 3.5 hours of tuition and I'm not sure if I actually learned anything there. Was going through the Maths Prelim papers (HCI >.>) and all it did was make me feel stupid. In fact, this past few weeks of revision have done nothing but made me feel stupid. I already feel stupid enough wasting my life away studying for stupid subjects that I probably will not use in the future. Its even worse when you realise you're so stupid you can't understand the stupid subjects that you're stupidly studying for no reason. Comprende?

Anyhow, I've had some revelations (least I hope they are revelations >.<) about death. First one was a few years ago, I remember I was holding a marble , then I suddenly had a flash-uh..experience, like some sort of multi-sensory experience. I kind of imagined myself choking on the marble. I could feel its cold smooth surface in my throat, the lack of breath, the involuntary contraction of the throat muscles as the body attempted to expel the foreign object and the losing of consciousness. Very interesting experience..well, I was very afraid then. I remember curling up into a ball beneath my blanket and shivering, feeling very cold even though it was a perfectly sunny day.

Hmmm, seems I had another one just now as I was making my way home from tuition. While crossing the road, I toyed with the idea of stepping out as the cars rushed past. Would I die instantly? Or suffer the inhumane torture of being kept alive as a vegetable because Singapore legislation banned euthanasia? Despite the compulsive urge to stick my foot out onto the road, I decided against it..judging by the speed of the cars the latter was more possible..haiz.. Not surprisingly this suicidal thought was brought about by the sheer feeling of intellectual inaptitude after attempting those Maths questions. Well..now I've got a greater insight as to how those academic-stress related suicides come about :D

This morning I also spotted a dead tree that reminded me how easily we kick the bucket. It is somehow inspiring when trees die. Not those pitiful little shrubs but the tall ones. Come to think of it, it is extremely rare to spot a dead tree in this evergreen country of ours. They are usually removed quickly and efficiently, much like an assassination. To spot a full-grown tree wither and die when they are usually resilient in the face of storms, drought and whatnot somehow garners some respect, for life and nature and death. Here's a picture..

Feeling whimsical of late, I have also decided on the mode as to how my corpse would be disposed of. I would first donate my internal organs, except for my eyeballs (dunno why) to those in need of them. Then I will request for my butt-naked corpse to be strapped onto a rocket/ giant firecracker and launched let's say over 1.5km into the sky before I blow up into a beautiful shower of golden sparks and other glittery stuff (maybe some silver showers :D). Of course before that, all the funeral guests would have to get behind a plexi-glass shield in case bits of corpse debris hit and injure them. Then the pastor would invite them to all have a good laugh and enjoy the spectacle before presenting a toast to me :) Speaking of which, the funeral would also have an in-house bartender! Ahh...what a fantastic way to go..

Spiralling down..

2007-08-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

These past few weeks have kinda sucked..I've finally caught up in physics, I think, but now I realize I'm really lagging behind in the other subjects, especially maths >.<
Haha the past weeks has been kinda emo..the class barbeque was really fun, our own paparazzi team, the allergy-inducing sausage dog (it took two days for the rash to subside >.<, she's so cute it was worth it anyway. Sashaaaa), all the emo plates and windmill thingys. The only not so fantastic part was the burnt food. But that's what you get when your chef is someone who forgets what he was cooking the moment he throws the food into the barbeque and assumes food is cooked as long as the outside is a nice crunchy layer of crusty carbon. Oh yar..dont' forget about the part where he says raw food boosts your mental capacity =.=. I'm surprised I didn't get diarrhoea.
It's amazing how time flies. Looking back, time really passed so quickly (especially after I left council :p) I haven't really managed to prepare myself to confront the fact that the class is going to disperse soon. Still feels like there's a long way to go..I cannot imagine of a day where I no longer get to experience the feeling of walking up the familiar slope..seeing Wah Kiat sleeping on his crumpler, Wei Xiang sleeping in any position possible, Junyu emoing, Sherman reading his magazines, Ricky emoing, Regina mugging, Michelle mugging, Gui Rong bugging everyone around him lol, Zhi Ming emoing :p, Tian Cheng emoing, Wu Shuang glued to either some Chinese epic or some handheld screen. Then squishing through the crowd into the central plaza (and catching a glimpse of my eyecandy :D), talking about Den-o or Naruto to Zhenwei. Feels like an eternal dream, minus the exams =.=. Then we'd spend the day gaying around, making fun of handsome jade and say tiong, Gui Rong as a potential uh..relative, Chee aun running around half-naked in one way or another, Kiat trying to grab my @%!^# if we teased him about his sizzling bod. Bobby getting molested by everyone, Chris getting harassed by Daphne then doodling in his notes. Liwei fighting with Chee Aun to see who could sit beside Bobby and molest him. Liwei's constant smsing and food consumption rate, which is about half of that of a normal person I think..hmmm..Kiat linking every possible topic to lan..Zhi Kai reading Economist..
This week thus far has been spent taking pictures with the teachers, last lessons..sniff. During yesterday's last CT session of my life, Mrs Ong got the class to write down their ambitions and greatest fears individually on balloons and pop them afterwards to symbolize overcoming them. To not be burdened by society's designations of what is success and to not succumb to our fears. Thought that was mighty sweet and nice of her to do so, and quite meaningful as well. Singapore needs more teachers like her..and Say Tiong and Mrs Tan and Peh Ling.
Tomorrow's the official last day of school..going to watch Bourne tomorrow..and then..

"Life is a cannon and Death is the trigger. Everything that happens in between is the gunpowder that'll determine whether you go out with a big bang or a little fart. Poot"

It's getting hot in here

2007-08-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

Lol, the first thing everyone did when they came this morning was to comment about Kiat's ubbbbeeerrrr hot picture that appeared under the hot bod's section in yesterday's Straits Times. *Sizzle! And he claimed it was toon's photoshop copy..=.= Lol Kiat's got more than than 6 packs, he's got a whole telephone pad! No wonder the CJ J3 girl wanted to take picture with him :D. GP was okay..the comprehension passage was quite difficult to understand..hmmm or it might be because I'm becoming more retarded..hmmm..shux. Lol the guys found yesterday's newspapers in the fishtank and there was a fantastic commotion over Kiat's pic. Quote of the day, kindly donated by Kiat, "My favourite event is the pummel horse." Then the retarded asshole cheapo despo fishtank facka owner (the youngest one) came over and asked them to keep quiet. What the hell la, he's listening to shitty Chinese oldies and he asks us to keep quiet? Ya Wen told me he tried to get her number la, and a few other gurls fell victim too I think. What kinda gay fag jios his customers half his age wearing a gay apron?

Chem remedial was awesome, as always, damn fun. Except where the part Junyu called me Mount Ding..-.- in front of Peh Ling. It's like ohmygod la..could feel my ears turning red i think. Then Pehling gave me the "what are they talking about?" look..GG. Lol Chee Aun was poking fun at the prc's in the hostel who walked around in their boxers. Oooh..before the lesson started he was prancing around the third level with his shirt open. Then Pehling appeared behind him as he ran back to the classroom, LOL.

Hmmm, dunno why but i especially despise Chinese High guys even though I was one myself( and I suppose I still act somewhat like one..to my displeasure =.=). Saw a bunch of brainless idiots laughing and joking around in an overly-forced-attention-grabbing-even-though-the-joke-wasn't-funny-at-all kind of way. But I suppose all Chinese Highesians :D are involved in this at some point in their lives.